"Devil Inside" [02]
/Everybody wants me to be their angel//Everybody wants something they can cradle//They don’t know I burn//They don’t know I burn//They don’t know I burn/
/Maybe there’s a devil//or something like it/ /inside//Maybe there’s a devil//or something like it/ /inside of me//Devil/ /or something like it/ /inside//Maybe there’s a devil//somewhere really deep inside me//Devil inside of me//Jealous angel deep inside me/
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This is the definition of struggling through a painting until it’s sort of okay/”i-mean-i-guess-it’s-done-because-I-can’t-look-at-it-anymore”.
 
One of the personal projects I am juggling is to do an illustration for every song from Utada’s album Exodus. Because.Memory.Journeys.Just the right emotional palettes.And rediscovering teenage things you thought were so /deep/ but now youre an adult* so you interact with the songs and their contexts and narratives muuuuch differently.
I decided to forgo my initial ideas for track 02, “Devil Inside” (WOMAN OF THE FLAME SUMMONING A CEREBRUS FROM THE DEPTHS OF ANIMU HELL!! Maybe she has a SCYTHE BECAUSE SYMBOLISM.) I tried to get a bit more personal by going through my teenage memories of what a personal “devil” would be.
And I have distinct memories of being 13 or 14 and experiencing initial MASTURBATION GUILT/SHAME (queerness definitely played a part in that too). My very first thought was OH NO I BROKE MY PEEPER…and then googling “is masturbation a sin”. After heavily researching yahoo answers, I lolzed and thought “oh well, i dont really want to go to a heaven where liking boys or masturbation isn’t allowed”.
Anddddd now look at me~I am a full fledged level 99 masturbating demon conjurer of the flame who barely kisses boys (so I can still go to heaven #ayeeee)~!(i mean full disclosure/tmi, I am pretty sure I fapped after taking these reference photos. because self-care/self love is important. And i mean I was already in prime position.)
Anyway! This probably wasn’t the best time to experiment with crude marks over more refined/painterly imagery….or to experiment with image content (since I am also submitting this to a fantasy illustration call for entry). At one point I got halfway through painting this, and said THIS IS HORRID and started thumbnailing again and tried to do an entire new piece in 2 days.
And while I think the image could be much more effective (not enough simplicity/trying to cram too many ideas in one image), I am excited about the journey to make this image…which is what the Exodus is about I guess. HAR HAR HAR. Exodus get it?… I need to equalize my brain and draw a magical girl transformation sequence asap.

"Devil Inside" [02]

/Everybody wants me to be their angel/
/Everybody wants something they can cradle/
/They don’t know I burn/
/They don’t know I burn/
/They don’t know I burn/

/Maybe there’s a devil/
/or something like it/ 
/inside/
/Maybe there’s a devil/
/or something like it/ 
/inside of me/
/Devil/ 
/or something like it/ 
/inside/
/Maybe there’s a devil/
/somewhere really deep inside me/
/Devil inside of me/
/Jealous angel deep inside me/

————-

This is the definition of struggling through a painting until it’s sort of okay/”i-mean-i-guess-it’s-done-because-I-can’t-look-at-it-anymore”.

 

One of the personal projects I am juggling is to do an illustration for every song from Utada’s album Exodus. Because.
Memory.
Journeys.
Just the right emotional palettes.
And rediscovering teenage things you thought were so /deep/ but now youre an adult* so you interact with the songs and their contexts and narratives muuuuch differently.

I decided to forgo my initial ideas for track 02, “Devil Inside” (WOMAN OF THE FLAME SUMMONING A CEREBRUS FROM THE DEPTHS OF ANIMU HELL!! Maybe she has a SCYTHE BECAUSE SYMBOLISM.) I tried to get a bit more personal by going through my teenage memories of what a personal “devil” would be.

And I have distinct memories of being 13 or 14 and experiencing initial MASTURBATION GUILT/SHAME (queerness definitely played a part in that too). My very first thought was OH NO I BROKE MY PEEPER…and then googling “is masturbation a sin”. After heavily researching yahoo answers, I lolzed and thought “oh well, i dont really want to go to a heaven where liking boys or masturbation isn’t allowed”.

Anddddd now look at me~
I am a full fledged level 99 masturbating demon conjurer of the flame who barely kisses boys (so I can still go to heaven #ayeeee)~!
(i mean full disclosure/tmi, I am pretty sure I fapped after taking these reference photos. because self-care/self love is important. And i mean I was already in prime position.)


Anyway! This probably wasn’t the best time to experiment with crude marks over more refined/painterly imagery….or to experiment with image content (since I am also submitting this to a fantasy illustration call for entry). At one point I got halfway through painting this, and said THIS IS HORRID and started thumbnailing again and tried to do an entire new piece in 2 days.


And while I think the image could be much more effective (not enough simplicity/trying to cram too many ideas in one image), I am excited about the journey to make this image…which is what the Exodus is about I guess. HAR HAR HAR. Exodus get it?
… I need to equalize my brain and draw a magical girl transformation sequence asap.

FEM4FEM //Issue 02: Return to the Bathhouse

Introducing the second issue of FEM4FEM, guest starring The King of The Cosmos and Katamari Cousin #69715, Miss Luna P(-is-for-pussy-power) Ball, Kutchipatchi of Tamagotchi, and the one and only No-Face: The original icon of discreet ma4scformask behavior. Get steamy with us in our July issue as we reclaim the bathhouse and celebrate all that is transformative, magical, intersectional, and queer.

About: FEM4FEM is the result of one too many wonderful conversations, dialogues, imagined narratives, and self-prophesied alternate timelines between chungsun and odera. FEM4FEM is a restorative elixir; for when sailor moon transformations aren’t working like they used to; when the patriarchy has got you down; or when you think you can’t balance being a radical queer cutie with body rolling to 90s jams while eating too many slices of pizza (hint: you are queer and limitless, you can do all these things and more).

XO,

Odera

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Other misc notes: This took entirely too long, but I managed to squeeze it in before the end of the month.  Life happened or something (such as new jobs, exciting illustration things on the horizon that I dont think I can speak of just yet, etc). And then….my intuos of 10 years finally passed away. But now I have a biIIIIiiIIIg shiny new tablet that is amazing and makes work feel 10x more natural, unrestrained, and seamless. (I love you WACOM)

This originally started off as a /body/ issue. With Chungsun and I swimming in a pool of bubble tea and burritobowls—think Beyoncé Naughty Girl in a hug champagne flute but yummier. And then the ideas got more and more ridic and this happened. So uh…Let’s see what’s in store for the next issue of FEM4FEM :B

Opening [01]

/I don’t wanna crossover / Between this genre, that genre/

/Between you and I, is where I wanna crossover/ Cross the line/

/I just wanna go further / Between here and there grow wiser/

/Together you and I / We can cross all borders you and I/

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Hello tumblr~! Exciting things have been happening (new jobs + new exciting illustration career things on the horizon). But in the meantime I’ve been working on a new series to keep up with my more fantastical/painted work. Since finishing the Sailor Moon redesigns and experimenting with new quicker editorial/spot pieces (FEM4FEM + FFT classes) I had a SERIOUS art block for my fantasy work. I knew what visual problems I wanted to solve and what things should feel and look like. But I didn’t know what story I was trying to tell. I didn’t want to create another series of ~cool~ fantasy characters simply posing there (although I do love a good iconic/well posed character illustration).

So I dug deep like a diglett to find a container for these illustrations. Then my weeaboo (can you be a weeaboo if you’re not a colonizer/exotique-0-fier/dont sip on the koolaid of orientalism??) history came to the surface and told me to illustrate every song from UTADA’s album: Exodus.

I have a ton of memories and personal stories tied to pretty much every song on the album. And too this day each song evokes a ton of exciting vivid JUICCYYYYY imagery , so I knew it could serve as the structure/skeleton/system/roadmap/save-crystal for these illustrations.

The album truly holds a special place in my heart for being so moody/experimental/introspective/tinkering-like-a-mad-scientist-in-a-laboratory-energy/dramatic/trying-to-be-deeper-than-it-actually-is/GOODandHORRIBLE-BUT STILL SO GOOD-all at once/nostalgic/the perfect soundtrack to my teenage years.

… Not to mention I have done way too many fun/silly Utada Hikaru lipsyncs recently; example http://instagram.com/p/pZXq0DBNWq/ 

So cheers to the beginning of new work that I’m super jazzed about!

[sidenote: i am lol’ing pretty hard at myself because… this started as a pen and ink drawing with simple flat color….but uh….i guess I missed layering and painting and tickling and layering and tickling and layering forever?]

Anyway look forward to new things soon! (like the next issue of FEM4FEM… it’s … a health issue *poses seductively with burrito in mouth* :B )

natthecat-dcc asked:

Hey I just stumbled onto your page and had to scroll through it we have the same name lol. My name is Odera Offiah, your art is amazing by the way!

Thanks so much for the kind words!

And much solidarity for all the Odera’s out there!

The name doesn’t seem too common and I love how gender neutral it is <33

It’s a good name if I d’usse say myself.

discoelitist asked:

So I am completely in love with the Fem4Fem Image you created. I run queer Disco Parties in Halifax & Montreal and today being the Anniversary of stonewall I was going to upload a Ballroom mix to our Tumblr account to celebrate. I was hoping you'd let me use the image as the cover for the mix? I will credit you in every way and link to your tumblr and website. Any chance you'd say yes? Much love and respect

Hello there queerasfuck, I appreciate the kind words and love for my imagery. However your actions have shown me that you in fact do not have much love or respect for the work, creative process, or my agency as qpoc artist. 

I just recently saw this message, but before I could even contemplate an answer I saw this: http://queerasfuck.tumblr.com/post/90223042408/heavypettingdisco-ballroom-house-n-honour-of

This is atrocious.

This is rude.

This is the height of disrespect.

This is appropriation.

You are a contemporary colonizer and it is really not cute.

This is ripping my original (©opyrighted) illustration of its original context, because your desire to have it attached to your ~stonewall anniversary mix~ is stronger than your desire to respect an artist and simply wait for a response. 

It doesn’t matter that you have credited the image to me. Because you took the liberty to flip the image horizontally and add some pretty gross type on top. So not only have you removed the image of its narrative, but you have in fact changed the visuals+design and taken “artistic liberty” on something you have zero claims or ownership of. I have spent hours simply thinking, okay what color am I going to make this line by the torso, should this dot be red or cyan, what is the proper placement of the text, etc etc. So it takes some serious audacity to crop the image and add your own text. 

So no, I do not give you permission to use the image for this mix. 

I am an illustrator, I make images for a living. 

So unless you want to sign a contract granting One-Time Rights and hand over $444, then I suggest you delete this image and think more carefully before shitting all over someone’s artwork.

And now a word from one half of FEM4FEM, chungsun:

Tell queerasdumbfuck that it was rude to just go ahead and use it anyway and that a lack of response does not mean consent. There’s enough appropriation of queer POC culture that taking somebody’s artwork and repurposing it without permission is unacceptable. The fact that its from within the queer culture is more offensive.

This all comes from a place of ~love and respect~ though

XO/lovemelightsout/IloveyoulikeXO, Odera

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